i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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