Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Randomize
