I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
