i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
