No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Everything about him screamed your future.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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