I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Randomize
