Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
