I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
