I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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