its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Randomize
