Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I would ride that face into the sunset
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Randomize
