is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
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