giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Everyone says I win the strip club
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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