You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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