Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
fuck your aforementioned shoe
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
