i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
