3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
