I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize