I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
