Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
