sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
