Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
