This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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