maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
