Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
