My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
