i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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