apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Randomize
