fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
