Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
