i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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