Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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