There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
