farters have to be the big spoon...
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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