i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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