i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
