the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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