Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
