The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
