Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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