I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
