I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
