Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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