he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
