I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
