so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
