Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
