next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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