I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
