I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
