I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize